How do you react when you loose something you never had? The illusion which gave life to your existence. The illusion which was a guiding star for you which never faded away irrespective of gloomy weathers. Something which you had held close to your heart that its absence leaves a huge void. The void which can't be filled by work, activities, interests or friends. You try to walk away from this chaos. But each attempt to walk away only puts you back on the highway to hell. You heed to reality. Your friendly fate seems a lot ironic. You give up on your cherished dreams because they don't seem "real" enough to be accomplished. And once you do that, you end up losing yourself. The void seems to have grown out of proportion and encircled your complete life. Encircled in this abyss, you look up in the sky for the guiding star.....only to realize that it was always there! You realize that the illusion meant a lot more to you than you thought it did in the first place. It is a reflection of the determined, strong-willed yet sensitive individual who is willing to perspire for his lofty aspirations. And with this revelation, you find your dreams and the courage and faith which always kept you motivated towards them.
Perhaps, all I have done over a long period of time is just walked a full circle. I did not let go but still I have moved on :-).
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Saturday, June 05, 2010
Friendships...
What do you feel when when what's going on in your head resonates with somebody else's writings. The solace in the fact that you are not alone. The fact that it's normal to have some expectations from friends. And the urge to post them verbatim on your blog :P.
"In a certain way I am sticking to my subject with all that about friends and connections. You see, I've heard of a man whose friend had been imprisoned and who slept on the floor of his room every night in order not to enjoy a comfort of which his friend had been deprived. Who, cher monsieur, will sleep on the floor for us? Whether I am capable of it myself? Look, I'd like to be and I shall be. Yes, we shall all be capable of it one day, and that will be salvation. But it's not easy, for friendship is absent-minded or at least unavailing.
It is incapable of achieving what it wants. Maybe, after all, it doesn't want it enough? Maybe we don't love life enough? Have you noticed that death alone awakens our feelings? How we love the friends who have just left us? How we admire those of our teachers who have ceased to speak, their mouths filled with earth! Then the expression of admiration springs forth naturally, that admiration they were perhaps expecting from us all their lives. But do you know why we are always more just and more generous toward the dead? The reason is simple. With them there is no obligation. They leave us free and we can take our time, fit the testimonial in between a cocktail party and a nice little mistress, in our spare time, in short. If they forced us to anything, it would be to remembering, and we have a short memory. No, it is the recently dead we love among our friends, the painful dead, our emotion, ourselves after all!" -Excerpts from "The Fall", a novel by ALBERT CAMUS, Nobel Prize Winner
But does that make it a dark cloud without a silver lining? Most of the friendships sink with the tides of change. Some even when the geographical distances are literally infinitesimal. But the very few that have grown deeper irrespective of the geographical distances are the ones which still make me believe in F.R.I.E.N.D.S!
"In a certain way I am sticking to my subject with all that about friends and connections. You see, I've heard of a man whose friend had been imprisoned and who slept on the floor of his room every night in order not to enjoy a comfort of which his friend had been deprived. Who, cher monsieur, will sleep on the floor for us? Whether I am capable of it myself? Look, I'd like to be and I shall be. Yes, we shall all be capable of it one day, and that will be salvation. But it's not easy, for friendship is absent-minded or at least unavailing.
It is incapable of achieving what it wants. Maybe, after all, it doesn't want it enough? Maybe we don't love life enough? Have you noticed that death alone awakens our feelings? How we love the friends who have just left us? How we admire those of our teachers who have ceased to speak, their mouths filled with earth! Then the expression of admiration springs forth naturally, that admiration they were perhaps expecting from us all their lives. But do you know why we are always more just and more generous toward the dead? The reason is simple. With them there is no obligation. They leave us free and we can take our time, fit the testimonial in between a cocktail party and a nice little mistress, in our spare time, in short. If they forced us to anything, it would be to remembering, and we have a short memory. No, it is the recently dead we love among our friends, the painful dead, our emotion, ourselves after all!" -Excerpts from "The Fall", a novel by ALBERT CAMUS, Nobel Prize Winner
But does that make it a dark cloud without a silver lining? Most of the friendships sink with the tides of change. Some even when the geographical distances are literally infinitesimal. But the very few that have grown deeper irrespective of the geographical distances are the ones which still make me believe in F.R.I.E.N.D.S!
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